Love Is Blind
by Pomegranate23
Summary: In the human world, people have to find love without the help of blood lust. What would happen if Bella and Edward met on a blind date?
1. ReplaceADate

**I do not own any of these characters. Stephenie Meyer created all of them; I just like to mess with them :)**

**I have to give a thank you to Sarah at IMDB for being my first reader! **

_**All of the characters are human :)**_

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"Isabella Marie Swan! Get your butt in here now!"

I pulled the bedspread tighter over my head trying to ignore Alice's shrill voice calling me from the kitchen.

"Not on your life" I grumbled, knowing my petite friend wanted. Ever since she purchased "The Perfect Scrambler" from the home shopping network, Rosalie and I had been subjected to countless mad science experiments that Alice tried to pass off as breakfast. Yesterday was the "Pancake and Sausage Omelet", and I refused to try another. It had quickly become clear that the cooking should only be left to me.

When the three of us moved in together, it was easy to see the roles of the house. Behind her brilliant blonde hair, and beautiful figure that rendered countless men speechless, Rosalie Hale was a rough and tumble mechanic, with the uncanny ability to not only fix cars, but any broken sink, toilet, shower, refrigerator, toaster, microwave, or stove that came her way. The amount of money we had saved having Rosalie as a roommate would probably send an electrician or plumber into convulsions.

Alice controlled the finances and by controlled I mean, she bought whatever she wanted and we did not object. Alice's father was a predominant psychologist in Mississippi, making her one of the most financially stable college students in America. She never flaunted her wealth, but it was apparent in her clothes and constant hunger for shopping. Alice also knew how to shop smart, and her ability to monitor and predict when stores were having sales was frightening at times. She kept the apartment looking like an ad in a home decorating magazine, which was something Rosalie and I could never manage alone.

If Alice wasn't rearranging the furniture or scoping out a sale, she was trying to improve someone's fashion life….usually mine. My very casual style sent Alice off the deep end and at least once a week she attempted to enlighten me with some unnecessary piece of designer clothing.

Fashion was not my forte; however, cooking was, with the exception of Alice's recent Scrambler obsession. Unfortunately, the cleaning was also left to me, since I was the only one who knew the mechanics of a mop. Alice had grown up with a house keeper, and Rosalie…well…she was just a slob. I assumed the permanent role of maid after I found my hair brush stuck to a plate of mystery food behind the couch one day.

For three years we have survived living together, though thick and thin. Through bad days, bad dates, break ups, hook ups, mess ups, tears, and laughter, we have always stuck together. I couldn't ask for much more.

"BELLLLLAAA SWAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"

"_Well, maybe a muzzle for Alice"_ I thought as I pulled the covers up even further.

It took me about five minutes to finally pull myself out of bed and into the hallway. I slumped into the nearest kitchen chair to find an equally tired, miserable Rosalie glaring at me from across the table.

"You just HAD to let her cook, huh Bella? You couldn't just let her down easy?"

I folded my arms on the table and put my head down as Rosalie continued to glare. It wasn't my fault that our roommate was the anti-Emeril.

Alice turned from the stove and pranced over to us "It's just a regular egg and cheese omelet today girls" she chirped. I slowly lifted my head in confusion to see a decent looking spread of omelet, toast and OJ being set on the table.

"I got the recipe from the guy I've been seeing. He's great in the kitchen."

Rose and I each took a careful helping of omelet and carefully bit into it, still cautiously eyeing Alice but to our utter surprise, it was good. Very good.

Without missing a beat Rosalie grabbed the entire plate out of Alice's tiny hands and began scarfing its contents.

"Keep him Alice. Or at least let him write you a recipe book before you dump him" I said between bites.

"How bout you just marry him now?" Rose said through a mouthful of omelet.

Alice sighed and flopped gracefully in an empty chair "I think I will…He might be perfect Rose."

I rolled my eyes and washed my bite of toast down with juice "Only him and the 12 other guys you've dated in the past year"

"Not fair." Alice pouted, "I didn't say ALL of them were perfect. This one's different though. It's like he knows how I feel, before I'm even feeling it. Last night we went to see this movie about a beautiful vampire that falls in love with a human"

"What a shocker" I said sarcastically. Alice was a sucker for romance no matter what form it came in.

"It's not funny. It was beautiful story" Alice defended. "And just as I felt like I was going to cry, he grabbed my hand, like he already knew" She said staring dreamily into her cup of orange juice.

"Maybe it wasn't your hand he was reaching for" Rosalie laughed.

Alice shot her a deadly look. "Shut it Rose. Bella, don't you think that's something?" Alice looked at me with naïve eyes.

"Alice, you know how I am, I'm not really into the whole romance, lovey dovey crap."

"Which is why you haven't had a boyfriend since we moved in two years ago" Alice chortled.

"I don't have time for a boyfriend" I said defensively, "Once school slows down for me, maybe I'll date seriously"

"You could do what I do" Rosalie chimed in.

"Rose, I wouldn't call what you do 'dating'. It's more like…seduce men to sleep with you and then never call them again"

"And what, pray tell, is wrong with having a healthy sex life?" Rosalie slammed her cup on the table.

"Nothing" I said "I just don't think it's my type of lifestyle"

Alice bit into a piece of omelet and stared at Rosalie, "Speaking of your love life Rose" she started "I set you up with one of Jaspers friends. He's supposed to be a real sweet heart but kind of lonely at the moment, very much your type"

Alice was always attempting to set people up on dates. Usually Rosalie and I fell under the radar, but apparently Rose hadn't been so lucky today.

"Alice" Rosalie glared, biting angrily into a piece of toast, "I have plans tonight"

Alice stuck out her bottom lip like a small child "Please Rose…please don't cancel. It would mean so much to Jasper, and I don't want to jeopardize anything with him"

Rosalie sighed and folded her arms over her chest "Fine. But I'm not promising anything, understand?"

Alice raised two fingers to her forehead "Scouts honor" she saluted "Just one blind date. I'm sure it will be fine"

After devouring the surprisingly great breakfast Alice prepared, washing the dishes and dispersing into our rooms, I was sitting on my bed reading "Pride and Prejudice" when Rosalie walked in and shut the door behind her.

"Bella." She smiled sweetly, walking over to my bed and stroking my hair "Bella, Bella, Bella"

I pursed my lips, knowing that she had some crazy request up her sleeve. "Yes Rosalie?"

"Bella…you know that I would do anything for you, and I don't usually ask for much. Have I mentioned how nice your hair looks lately? I love your new shoes- "

"Get to the point Rose" I hissed.

She sighed and took a deep breath in, "Will you please take my place on the date tonight? You can pretend to be me…I don't care. I don't even mind if you treat him like crap…just don't make me go. I will owe you for life….please?" Her face was fixated into a huge pleading smile.

I exhaled heavily and closed my book. I knew Rosalie would do this for me in a heart beat, and it was the least I could do after the multiple times she repaired something I had broken in my clumsy wake.

"Fine." I mumbled. Rosalie's eyes went wide and she tackled me into a hug.

"Thank you so much Bells! Oh, I can't even tell you how grateful I am. I have a gorgeous date for tonight and there is no way I can cancel." She rambled as she danced out of my room.

"Yea, yea. Well think of me sitting with your goober blind date while you're with Mr. Gorgeous!" I yelled after her. I pulled myself off the bed and headed towards the shower_, "There better be drinks on this date" _I thought to myself.

Edward

"PLEASE Edward?!" Emmett begged.

I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself. Emmett's begging was not something I dealt with easily. Especially at ten in the morning.

"Emmett. Why in the world would I ever go on YOUR blind date?"

"Because…I just can't. I hate blind dates. They are creepy"

"Well there's great justification" I rolled my eyes.

"Come on man. I'm begging you. She could be a serial killer."

"Doubtful Emmett. Alice told Jasper that she is beautiful and great with tools." I smirked "Sounds perfect for you"

"Great with TOOLS? What NORMAL girl that you know is GOOD with tools? She's probably a psycho." Emmett slumped further into the couch. "Please Edward. Not only that, but I'm not really ready to date after-"

"Stop" I cut him off, "If you utter the name Jessica, I just might kill you"

Emmett stared at me like a child who'd been struck. His breakup with Jessica Stanley was one of the most annoying things Jasper and I had ever endured with Emmett. He acted as if it was yesterday when it ended five months ago. To be truthful, I never liked Jessica. She was manipulative, rude, and talked more than any human I've ever met. I still question the stability of Emmett's mental state while he dated her. Even so, I could see that some of his wounds were still there. Behind Emmett's burly tough exterior, he was truly a kindred, sensitive person.

I sighed and took a long breath in before making my decision "Fine Emmett. I will go. But I am not going to be charming, or even nice for that matter, and you owe me…big time"

Emmett pulled me into a bear hug, cutting off my oxygen intake "Thanks man, I cannot thank you enough. Seriously Edward, I love ya"

"I knew it" Laughed a voice behind us. Jasper walked into the living room with a dish of pancakes and some orange juice. "It was only a matter of time before you two came out"

Emmett walked over to Jasper and smacked him in the head before grabbing the dish "Shut the hell up man. I'm not the one cooking fluffy pancakes like Betty Crocker"

"If it weren't for me, you two would starve!" Jasper retorted.

"That's bull! I have Fu-Ming's Kitchen, AND Dominos on speed dial!" Emmett yelled through a mouthful of pancake.

"Shut it, both of you." I cut in. I was not in the mood for yelling. My impending blind date doom was looming over my head.

Ever since I moved in with them, Jasper and Emmett fought like children over the stupidest of situations. I once had to break up a fight because Jasper took Armor King before Emmett in a round of Tekken. I guess living together for 23 years made them a little crazy.

Although I was sometimes tempted to bean them in the head with poles, their friendship was about the most stable thing in my life. Their relationship as brothers was eternally strong, but they always made me feel like a member of the family…the more mature one of course.

"Yea. Listen to him, Mrs. Crocker" Emmett said mockingly.

"Just sit down and eat your pancakes…animal." Jasper grumbled cutting into a stack of pancakes.

As much as the two fought, they always had each others backs. Jasper recently started dating a girl in his "Advanced History" class, who he swore was the love of his life. From what I knew she had two roommates, one of which Jasper tried to set Emmett up with in an attempt to pull him out of his post-Jessica slump. The same one I was being forced to go on a blind date with tonight.

"_Should be interesting"_ I thought to myself. _"I wonder if there will be drinks"_

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**This is my first attempt at Fan Fiction, so reviews would be much appreciated. I don't want to waste internet space if it sucks.**


	2. Nuns and Vibes

Bella

**I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. I just mess with them :) **

**It took me a while to write this chapter because I wanted to just get to the restaurant, it didn't feel right without this part. I hope you like it :\, and I hope I get the next chapter out sooner. **

Bella

"What the hell is that?" Rosalie asked charging into my room.

"What the hell is what?" I spun around confused.

"Your outfit." Rosalie gestured towards me as I looked down at my choice of attire. A simple black tank top and dark blue cardigan with jeans; I couldn't see what the problem was but obviously Rosalie did.

"Are you really wearing _that _on my blind date?"

"_Your _blind date?" I scoffed, "The last time I checked, I was the one getting ready to go out with this loser."

"Yea, but it technically was mine first and I refuse to have you looking like a school nun on my date"

A look of shock swept across my face as I realized that she was completely serious. I attempted to form a decent rebuttal, but her frown suddenly jumped into a mischievous smile. "We need Alice". She pivoted on one foot and sprinted out my door.

"NOO!" I shouted and tried to grab onto her shirt, but I was too late. She was already halfway down the hall screaming for Alice. I tried to catch up, but her long legs outran my stubby limbs by twenty feet. I finally caught up in the living room where Alice sat cross legged on the couch reading a magazine. I tumbled straight into Rosalie completely out of breath,

"Rosalie" I gasped for air, "This is totally unnecessary"

"On the contrary Bella, this is utterly necessary," She turned to Alice "Don't get mad….but Bella is going on my blind date for me" Rosalie sputtered.

Alice looked up slowly from her magazine with scornful eyes and opened her mouth to object but Rosalie cut in "Alice, I really appreciate you trying to set me up but I already have a date tonight that I _cannot _cancel."

Alice pursed her lips and continued to glare. "Do not look at me like that Alice" Rosalie started, "It's Sam Uley. I refuse to turn a piece of man like that down"

Alice's anger dissolved into shock from Rosalie's words. Sam Uley was presumably the most attractive man on campus and his shallow nature exceeded that of the normal college frat boy ten fold. His fraternity brothers were notorious womanizing party animals with a talent for charm which helped them achieve popularity with most of the female population.

"Sam Uley? You're ditching him for that _animal_?" Alice reeled. While some girls swooned over the boys of Delta Omega Gamma, Alice and I were disgusted by them. For Rosalie, I was sure it was some sort of personal challenge.

Rosalie shrugged and nodded innocently. Alice slapped her magazine closed and jumped off the couch to storm out of the room. Rosalie grabbed her arm,

"Look Alice. I'm sorry. I do appreciate you trying to set me up, and I know this guy is probably a sweetheart, but there's a part of me that just cannot pass up this date"

"I'm pretty sure I know what part that is" I chuckled behind Rosalie. She turned around and slapped me in the head. Alice stared silently at Rosalie for a few minutes, and then sat back down on the couch.

"You have ten seconds to ask for my help before I change my mind. And just for the record," she said "I'm letting this go, but not because I approve of you going out with Same Uley. I'm letting it go because I want Bella to get out of the house for a while"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. Rosalie smiled and bent down to hug Alice's small figure. "Thank you Alice. Now, will you please look at what this girl is wearing" she said waving a graceful arm in my direction.

"It's honestly not that bad!" I whined.

"Help her Alice. She can't go on my date looking like a nun"

I shot Rosalie a deadly look as I saw the gears in Alice's mind begin to churn. She hopped off the couch clapping excitedly and pulled me into her room. Immediately she began rummaging through her walk in closet, tossing things out onto the floor,

"This is going to be so much fun Bella! You have such a great figure to work with and you never let me help you! I have this dress that would look great with a pair of leggings underneath it, or you could show a little leg and just go with out the leggings. Oh, and we have to talk about your hair! How about curls, lots of them….all over your head? Or maybe we could -"

"ALICE" I interrupted, "Please. Slow down. It's just a date, not a Miss Universe pageant."

"Just a date?" Alice marched out of the closet with a stiletto in her hand "This is not 'just a date' Bella. It's a first date, and a blind one at that!"

"So?" I said, taking the shoe from her. Stilettos and I were like oil and vinegar. To be completely honest, any shoe with out a completely flat bottom was a death trap to me.

"SOOOO" she walked over to the pile she had tossed onto the floor, "You have to make a great impression" Alice held a green dress up to me that would probably take Crisco to get into.

I shook my head no and tossed the dress back into the pile. "It's not even really my date Alice."

"Which is why you need to look damn good", said a voice near the door. Rosalie walked in wearing an extremely fitted low cut, short black dress looking more like she was on her way to a Hollywood after party than a date.

"Holy crap Rose, don't you think that's a little overkill?" I said tossing a black leather skirt Alice was trying to shove towards me onto the floor.

Rosalie's brow furrowed "No…I think it looks subtle, yet sexy".

Alice and I looked at each other and laughed. Subtlety was obviously not Rosalie's strong point. Alice composed herself and looked at me sternly "Even though it's a bit much, I think it works, and I'm glad that _someone _doesn't plan to go on a date looking like a Sunday school nun"

"Enough with the nun jokes!" I cried.

"We're just trying to sex you up a bit Bella, break you out of your shell" Rosalie held up a red satin corset to my chest. I looked in the mirror as she reached from behind me to hold the corset against my waist. Even over my cardigan and jeans, I felt like a fish out of water with the bold bright red pressed against my pale skin. I looked at Alice and Rosalie's reflections in the mirror; both girls naturally beautiful without anyone's help and then looked at my own plain, flawed reflection. They could dress me up as much as they wanted, and douse my face in makeup, but I still could never be nearly as beautiful as them.

As if she heard my thoughts Alice said "You're beautiful Bella, don't be afraid to let other people see it"

"Yea Bella" Rosalie said, "We're only doing this because we know how beautiful you are, but we also know how scared you are to show it"

I sighed and took the red corset from Rosalie, placing it in the pile along with the leather skirt and four inch stilettos. "As long as it's not heels, or a dress short enough to be a shirt" I gestured towards the pile, "I guess giving you some creative freedom won't be so terrible." Alice's eyes lit up as she bounced up and down and Rosalie nodded reassuringly as she said "We'll be gentle with you"

After nine dresses, ten shirts, five pairs of jeans, and four skirts later, we all finally came to a mutual agreement on a dark pair of straight leg jeans, a cute blue tunic sleeveless top, and blue ballet flats. As for my hair, I let Alice do as she pleased in exchange for not forcing me to wear makeup. Honestly, I liked the hair. She put some gook on my head and then twirled small sections around her fingers. It looked a little like I had just gone in the ocean and let my hair dry.

"You actually look really great Bella" Rosalie said fixing a piece of my hair, "Even with no makeup"

"Thanks, I guess" I said looking over myself again in the mirror. She was right, I didn't look half bad. Of course, I still looked out of place, but for one night it wasn't terrible. I sprayed on my favorite floral body spray and walked towards the door.

"You'll have fun, I promise!" Alice said beaming as she handed me a small satin clutch purse that she forced me to borrow.

I rolled my eyes and walked to the car. _"Here goes nothing"_ I said to myself.

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Edward

After procrastinating getting ready for as long as possible, I finally took a shower and started to get dressed. I was changing into my jeans when I heard a huge crash come from the kitchen.

"What the HELL man!?" Emmett's booming voice yelled.

I ran into the kitchen half dressed thinking I was going to see someone bleeding on the floor, only to find Jasper on top of Emmett's wide muscular back in a sorry attempt to tackle him to the ground. The hilarity of the situation was only increased by the fact that Jasper was wearing his apron and oven mitt. I nearly fell on the floor in silent hysterics watching such a spectacle.

"You. Are. Such. An. Ass." Jasper yelled as he let go of his brother. Emmett turned to retaliate but Jasper quickly socked his brother in the stomach. For a generally peaceful human, Jasper could throw a punch. Emmett doubled over instantly.

"Seriously Emmett. If this ruins my chances with Alice I am going to kill you! Of all people why would you ask EDWARD to go on your blind date?"

Suddenly taken back, I raised my eyebrows and coughed to announce my presence. Emmett, finally collected himself and turned towards me. "Nice Jasper"

"I didn't know he was there" Jasper defended, "Edward, listen. In the first place, Emmett is a moron for backing out on this date, but I really think it's a bad idea for you to meet this girl"

"And why is that?" I crossed my arms.

"I don't know man. You just don't seem like you would do well on a blind date." Jasper said quietly, taking off the apron and oven mitt.

"I'm not following. Elaborate please?" I was angry. Who the hell was he to tell me I'm not blind date material?

"Well" Jasper looked at Emmett for help. "You aren't very friendly sometimes"

"Of course I am!" I shouted, "I'm plenty friendly!"

"Uh, he's kind of right man" Emmett said pulling a bottle of Gatorade out of the refrigerator, "You kind of give off a weird vibe"

"A weird _vibe_?" I questioned.

"Yea. How many times have we tried to hook you up with someone when we go out, and you just totally blow her off?" Jasper said.

"A lot" I replied, "But that's only because you introduce me to the most incompetent, shallow, ostentatious woman you can find"

"But some of them are hot!" Emmett cut in. Jasper rolled his eyes as I shot him a deadly look.

"Well Emmett… I, unlike you, look for women with IQ's that exceed their age."

"You don't even look for ANY women! They aren't just going to fall into your lap. That only happens to me" Emmett said with a moronic smile.

"Oh please Emmett. You haven't honestly tried to talk to a girl since Jessica dumped you five months ago because you still think she just 'needs a little more time'."

Emmett instantly tensed up and clenched his jaw, "That was a low blow man." He said in a whisper. We all stood silently facing each other, Emmett looking like he wanted to kill me. Jasper immediately attempted to diffuse the palpable tension,

"Listen Edward. We weren't trying to be so harsh, but sometimes you do have an ummmm…standoffish attitude. So just try to be more personable"

"Whatever." I said walking out of the room leaving the still livid Emmett and Jasper in the kitchen. I didn't care. Still greatly ticked off, I finished getting dressed, grabbed my keys and walked out the door thinking about what Jasper and Emmett said.

Woman liked me; I just didn't like a lot of them. Most of the time, I ignore them until they get fed up and leave. Tonight probably wouldn't be much different. Jasper would only set Emmett up with someone like him: shallow, conceited, slightly unintelligent, and sex-addicted.

I finally got to the restaurant down town and looked for the blue Mazda with my date waiting inside. I spotted it at far end of the parking lot and drove towards it, _"Here goes nothing" _I said.

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_**My first fan fiction ever. Reviews are greatly appreciated.**_


	3. Blind Date

Bella

**I don't own these characters; I just mess with their existence :)**

**I know it's been months since I've updated. I don't really have a valid excuse, but I'm thinking of keeping up this time….we'll see.**

**Note: Keep in mind that Edward thinks Bella is Rosalie, and Bella thinks Edward is Emmett. **

**Bella**

It was already 7:05 when I got to the restaurant. I could smell the cooking from outside and realized how hungry I was. Italian is Rosalie's favorite. I like it, but I'm not to keen on eating things I can't pronounce.

Alice told me to look for a silver Volvo, but I hadn't seen any when I pulled in. To pass time, I grabbed my emergency copy of "Pride and Prejudice" and started reading. I had only gotten through a page when my cell phone rang. It was Alice calling for her pre date run through. I rolled my eyes and flipped the phone open. I didn't even get a chance to say hello before she started to speak,

"Bella. Is he there yet? Are you late? How's your hair? Did you put any makeup on?"

"Not yet. Nope. Fine. And definitely not." I answered. Best to just get the third degree over with.

I heard her sigh sarcastically over the phone, "Why aren't you more excited about this Bella? Blind dates are great!"

"Well…because it's not really _me _that's going on the date, garlic gives me heart burn and I doubt this guy is going to be some brilliant conversationalist" I said.

"How do you know? You've never even met him" Alice defended.

"Because he was set up on a blind date with Rosalie" I said.

"Good point" Alice agreed. Rosalie was more of a physical being than anything else, and her dates usually reflected that. "Well just look on the bright side." She continued, "If he's a creeper, it won't be _you _that ditches him"

I laughed "Yea, I guess. Thanks for the optimism Alice. I'll see you later"

"Bye Bella. Try to channel Rosalie tonight and have a little fun!" she said before hanging up.

I put my phone back in the tiny clutch purse Alice lent me. Handbags confuse me. Why make one if it can't even fit a wallet and a phone? I was perfectly content with my roomy, plain brown tote purse. After wrestling with the clasp for a minute, I finally got it to close, and looked into the parking lot. Two spots down from me was a silver car, but I couldn't tell if it was a Volvo or not. As I craned my neck to get a better look at the car, the driver's side opened. If it was my date, I didn't want him to know I was staring, so I looked down, trying to seem inconspicuous. I waited for a few seconds, and looked back. I didn't see anyone near the car, and assumed that who ever it was went inside. If it was my date, I wanted to meet him before he got a table. Not paying attention and rushing to get out, I didn't even think to look before I swung the car door open.

"Watch the d-" I heard someone yell as something connect loudly with the door. Cursing myself for probably ruining the car, I jumped out to see what it was. I looked around, but couldn't see any tree, garbage can, or pole that I could've hit. Then, I looked down and saw a man sprawled out motionless on the ground.

"HOLY CRAP!" I cried, bending down to see if he was conscious, or bleeding. For a second, he didn't move. Then he slowly rolled over and opened his eyes as I let out a breath of relief "I'm so sorry! Are you hurt? I didn't even see you!"

"Well that's obvious" he said through a shallow breath. "You should really pay attention to what you're doing"

"I'm really am sorry. Are you sure you're ok?" I asked, ignoring his rude comment.

"I'm fine. I just got the wind knocked out of me" he replied. He was sitting upright now, rubbing his temples.

"Is there anything I can get you?" I said, relieved that there was no blood. The last thing I needed was to throw up on this guy. Blood and I didn't mix well.

"No." He replied trying to stand up.

I grabbed his arm to help him, "Well, I really am sorry. I wasn't paying attention at all. I'm meeting someone here and wasn't sure if they went in without me"

He pursed his lips, "Yes. I know.

I raised my eyebrows, "Um….you do?"

"Yes. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that _you_ are my blind date" he said flatly. "I'm Emmett"

I felt all of the blood rush to my face. The guy I knocked the wind out of was my blind date, and he wasn't taking it too well. I started to fidget with my purse trying to hide my crimson cheeks. "Oh. Ok, Well…I'm Rosalie Hale" I lied. Surprisingly it sounded true. "If you really are alright, do you still want to go in?"

"I suppose" he said apathetically. Although he held the door open for me, he wouldn't so much as look at me as the waitress seated us, and I could sense that this would be a long night.

**Edward**

Aside from being hit in the lower male regions, having the wind knocked out of you is the second worst feeling I can think of. I was trying to be a gentleman by going up to her car, and before I even have a chance to tap on the window, she slams the door right in my gut. I think I may have blacked out for a few seconds, but when I came to, I had a hard time getting air.

I felt someone leaning over me and struggled to see who it was. A girl with dark brown hair and brown eyes filled with shock was talking too much as I attempted to regain full consciousness. When I finally could breathe normally, and my thought process began to return, I tried to comprehend what she was saying to me.

"I didn't even see you!" she exclaimed.

"That's obvious" _Is she kidding me?_ I thought,_ How do you not see a six foot two guy standing outside your car? _"You should really pay attention to what you're doing" I told her.

"I'm really am sorry. Are you sure you're ok?" She was trying to be polite, but I could hear in her voice that my comment pissed her off……..Oh well.

I almost had to laugh at her reaction when she figured out that I was her blind date. I, of course was not enthused and she looked as if she'd seen a ghost. I'm sure the pair of us walking into the restaurant was interesting. The hostess seated us at a secluded table in the back. Apparently she was not able to feel the bubble of tension surrounding us, and thought that we were a happy couple.

I opened my menu and looked for my go to meal. Italian wasn't my favorite food choice, and there was only one dish I could tolerate 99 of the time: Ravioli. After spotting my meal, and closing the menu I finally spoke to my date who'd been staring at the menu for twenty minutes as if it was written in Latin,

"So Rosalie, You're Alice's roommate?" I waited for an answer, but she continued to focus on the menu,

I spoke a little louder, "Rosalie…" No response.

Finally, I pulled her menu down to get her attention "Rosalie…"

She looked as if something finally registered in her mind and put her menu down,

"Right… Rosalie… That's me" she laughed nervously. _Jasper sure knows how to pick 'em._ I thought to myself.

"So, you are Alice's roommate" I said again, very slowly this time. I didn't want to confuse her. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed together. Apparently she understood the thick sarcasm.

"Yes. And you are Jaspers brother correct?"

That caught me a little off guard. "Uh. Yea. Brothers. Yes, absolutely." I stuttered. I looked at her to see if she bought it, and silently thanked my undefeated poker face when I saw that she did.

To avoid another close call, I changed the subject to something she could rattle on about while I ignored her, "What sorority do you belong to?" I said as I settled back in my seat, ready for a long winded answer.

Surprisingly she raised her eyebrows and laughed "Do I look like I belong to a sorority?"

"Um. Well I- I" Again, I was caught off guard, "I just assumed you were"

"Well Emmett. You know what assuming does." she smirked looking back down at the menu.

My mouth tightened in utter shock. A witty comment. Obviously, I had jumped to conclusions. Perhaps this one had an iota of intelligence swimming around under her pretty brown hair.

After a painfully awkward silence, the waitress came to take our order,

"What can I get you guys?" She asked looking at me.

"Cheese Ravioli please." I told her. She looked over at my date, who still appeared to be decoding the menu.

"Rosalie. Would you like some help choosing?" I offered nicely.

She scowled and closed her menu, "No. I believe I have this under control." Looking up at the waitress smiling she said "I'll have the chicken parm"

The waitress jotted down the order and strode away. As soon as she was gone, Rosalie turned to glare at me.

Not to be one upped by this possibly witty girl I put on my most innocent, brilliant smile "Listen. I'm sorry. It just looked like you were having a little trouble with all those big words on the menu, so I offered to help."

She pursed her lips and took a deep breath "Contrary to popular belief Emmett, some women do have IQ's that surpass 20, although with the girls you're probably used to dating, it's not your fault that you're incapable of grasping that small concept."

Her victorious smile made it obvious that shock was strewn across my face. I couldn't believe it. I was almost speechless. But not entirely, I was _not_ going down that easily,

"Well," I whispered leaning towards her, "seeing as my current date doesn't even have the motor skills to open a car door, I suppose your accusation would be correct" I smiled. Her mouth dropped open.

The tension between us was now chokingly thick. Her mouth pressed into a thin line, her eyes locked with mine. We held this position until the waitress finally came with our food, both of us truly thankful for quick service.

"Here you go" she said smiling, "Is there anything else I can get you two?"

"No thank you" we said simultaneously. As the waitress walked away, our eyes were still completely locked on each other. Minutes passed without either one of us moving, as the delicious aroma of ravioli drifted into my nose. When the sound of my stomach became louder than the excruciating silence, I finally started to eat.

She eventually picked up her fork and began to cut her chicken. While I was chewing, I finally took a good look at her. Her brown hair fell in waves, just skimming her exposed pale shoulders, framing her ivory heart shaped face. As she tried to focus on cutting the chicken, and not cutting my head off, her full lips kept pursing together tightly in frustration.

"Do you always do that when you're angry?" I asked.

"Excuse me?" she looked up.

"Do you always purse your lips like that when you're angry?" I repeated curiously. She cocked her head, as if she had never noticed the habit.

"I- I suppose" she said, her dark brown eyes searching mine, lips still pursed. Out of nowhere, I wondered what it would be like to kiss those full beautiful lips and realized how stupid I sounded,_ Damnit Edward _I yelled in my mind,_ get a hold of yourself, she tried to kill you with a car door!_

"It's a bad habit. You'll get wrinkles." I said smugly.

"Wow. You really are a charmer, aren't you" she rolled her eyes. "I am going to kill Alice" she muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"Right. Whatever" she said taking her napkin off her lap.

Why did I suddenly feel terrible for being so rude to her, and why couldn't I stop staring at her? _Get over it _I said to myself_ She's just a chick. She's not even really your date. _

"Alright, as enthralling as this dinner has been Emmett, I think I'm going to go." She stood up handing me a twenty dollar bill.

"You forgot the tip" I called after her. I couldn't stop my mouth from spewing out one more comment. She turned back and walked over to me, lips pursed tightly. Chucking a few singles on the table she said, "Here's another tip Emmett …if you just give people a chance instead of doing everything in your power to chase them away, you might not be such a miserable jerk all the time"

By the time I finally could speak again, she was already gone and out of the parking lot. After paying the bill, I drove home in a state of shock Why **couldn't **I have been nice to her? It was obvious that she was completely different from what I expected, but for some reason I just had to make an ass of myself. No one had ever said anything to me like that, not even Jasper or Emmett. I knew that my social skills weren't exactly fantastic, but I never thought I chased people away, and I definitely didn't consider myself miserable. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about her, and the more I thought about her, the more my blood felt like someone had given it a shot of adrenaline. I just couldn't stop thinking about her eyes, her mouth, her skin, the way her hair framed her beautiful face, the way her cheeks turned a brilliant shade of red when she was mad, how small her delicate hands looked compared to mine and by the time I got home, I didn't know what to do with myself. I could only think of one place that might calm me down. My key for the music room on campus worked twenty four hours a day, which resulted in many late nights locked up in there. I walked directly into the building, passed the library and opened the small door at the end of the hallway. The smell of rosin and wood settled me immediately. I walked over to the black grand piano and sat on the familiar bench. So many emotions ran through my mind as I lifted the cover off the keys. Almost like breathing, I let my fingers float over the beautiful ivory keys, letting everything slip away into the music, until my stomach stopped feeling as if it were in a vice grip, and my heart beat slowed to an even tempo.

**Bella**

I drove home cursing the entire way. I couldn't believe what a jerk Emmett had turned out to be. He didn't even try to be a gentleman, and he certainly didn't try to hide the fact that the date was almost painful for him. I don't know which one of us enjoyed ending that date more. Humans never cease to shock me. I wish I had run into his car on my way out of the parking lot, stupid shiny Volvo owner. I drove home contemplating the ways I could have totaled his car and decided that I couldn't go in and deal the Alice's interrogation.

I had to go somewhere that I could be by myself. I walked to the campus library two blocks away. In my freshman year I'd started working there, and it became a second home to me. Whenever I felt like I couldn't deal with things anymore, I snuck over to the library. The smell of books and pencils calmed me down as I pulled out a book and sat on the couch. Down the hall I could hear someone pounding on a piano in the music hall. I recognized the familiar Debussy piece immediately through the silence of the library.

Even with the soothing sound of the piano, I couldn't seem to focus. I couldn't stop thinking about when he was sitting across from me at the table. His face was almost flawless if he hadn't been scowling the whole time. Even his hair fell perfectly with seemingly no effort. The sleeves on his black button down shirt were rolled up, exposing strong forearms that tensed up every time I counter attacked him with an insult. I couldn't help but think about the way he looked, even if he had been a complete asshole. "I wonder if he's a good kisser" I said out loud to no one. I was shocked by my own words.

What was I saying? He was quite possibly the rudest person I'd ever met. There was no way….no way…..I would ever go out with him again.

Repeating that to myself over and over, I forced myself to focus on my book, trying not to let his face back in to my thoughts.

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**Reviews would really be greatly appreciated. 3**


	4. Sad Tails

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer ******

**Remember: Edward still thinks Bella is Rosalie. Bella still thinks Edward is Emmett.**

After reading "Jane Eyre" I realized that it was almost 1:30 in the morning. I walked out into the hallway still hearing the piano coming from the music room. From the frustrated minor chords being played, I could tell that whoever it was probably had a bad night as well. With a sympathetic nod towards the mystery player, I left the building and walked back to my apartment.

I knew Alice was asleep, but I was surprised to find Rosalie already home from her date.

"Hey" she said crossing the living room with a bowl of ice cream and a bag of M&M's.

"Hey…you're home early" I replied.

"It's almost two in the morning Bella"

"That's early for you Rose" I laughed.

"This is true." She paused, "Well…Sam was boring. All he wanted to do was talk the whole night, about feelings, and ideas"

I raised my eyebrows, "Although I'm shocked that Sam Uley wanted to _**talk,**_ that _**is**_ usually a trait women find endearing" I said.

"Well I don't. Who wants to talk when you've got the hottest guy on campus within two feet of your grasp" she replied pouring the M&M's on top of her ice cream.

I rolled my eyes "Only you would be able to say that with such a sincere face Rosalie"

"Well its true….Speaking of which… it is way passed twelve, how was **your** date? Does the mysterious man have anything to do with your late arrival?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

"God no." I frowned. "Believe me"

"What happened?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"That bad?" she asked curiously.

"Yea." I replied. I wasn't lying. It really was a bad date. I was just having a problem remembering the bad details when his beautiful face attacked my mind every five minutes. Hard as I tried, every thought that drifted through me was penetrated by pictures of him. As much as I had been repulsed and offended by him, I was intrigued and attracted to him even more.

"I'm sorry." Rosalie said. " I had a really bad date too if it makes you feel any better."

"Yea…. I think I'm just going to try and sleep." I said walking down the hallway

"Ok. Good Night." She said shoveling a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, "Hey Bella" she called, "Do you want to come to the gym tomorrow morning with me? I'm leaving at eight. That always makes me feel better after a crappy date"

I burst into hysterical laughter. The thought of me in a gym, especially at eight in the morning was truly comical. "Umm" I suppressed my laugh "Thanks but no thanks Rose, I think I'll pass"

"Suit yourself. That leaves more fabulous sweaty, flexing men for me" she replied placing her legs up on the coffee table.

"Good night Rosalie" I said closing my door behind me. I crawled into bed and almost instantly fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of Alice singing loudly along to a 1980's one hit wonders CD. Groggy, and not quite revitalized, I shuffled out into the kitchen and collapsed into a chair.

"Good morning sleepy head!" Alice chirped, "I'm making eggs benedict"

"You're joking right?" I looked up at her. Even I didn't know how to make eggs benedict.

"Not at all. Here you go." She said placing a plate in front of me. Once again, everything on the plate looked surprisingly… edible. "Thanks Alice"

"So" she looked at me while plating her own breakfast, "tell me all about your date"

Suddenly, the delicious taste of egg and biscuit felt like sand in my mouth. How was I going to answer that question_: Well Alice, first I knocked him out with a car door, and then he mocked my intelligence. After we ate in silence, he continued to be such a jerk that I left early. Oh….and I can't stop thinking about how he would look naked._

"Not my type. Kind of rude" was the best lie I could come up with.

"Oh." Her mouth tightened, "Rose said you were pretty bummed about the whole thing.

"Yea, but…I think I'm over it. I just won't be going on anymore blind dates too soon" I laughed.

The rest of breakfast was pleasant, and no more was asked about my date. I thought Alice would strap me to a chair and forcibly extract details from me, but miraculously she got the hint. I was dumping my plate in the sink when Rosalie came back from the gym.

"Mmm….what smells good?" she walked over to the counter eyeing the left overs.

"Eggs Benedict" Alice said handing her a plate.

"Whoa" Rosalie eyeballed Alice in astonishment.

"That's what I said" I replied grabbing the orange juice out of the refrigerator.

Wasting no time, Rosalie plated a heaping pile of breakfast and ate it hastily.

"How was the gym?" I scoffed. Only Rosalie could work out for two hours and feel no regrets from eating a cholesterol induced meal.

"Great. I had some serious silent flirtation going on with treadmill boy today"

"Treadmill boy?" I asked.

"You don't know treadmill boy?" Alice said with a smile "He's the only man that Rosalie deemed too beautiful to talk to"

"It's not that!" Rosalie said. I just haven't….planned my attack yet. Don't you realize by now that the way I get the men I want is by my precise planning and timing? Treadmill boy has bimbos fawning over him every time I'm there. If I don't attack at the perfect time, I'm just going to be another one of them. I have to make myself memorable"

"You are completely deranged" I said.

"Hey…I'm not the one on the middle of a dry spell. Come on Bella, how long has it been now? When's the last time you got some tail?"

I shot her a venomous look "Can we not? It's too early to start talking about my non-sex life"

Rosalie laughed "Fine, but I'm just saying…"

"Next topic." I interjected "Alice, this breakfast was awesome"

Her face lit up "Thank you! I'm going to Jaspers today to get some more recipes."

"Recipes…….right" Rosalie snickered as she placed her dish in the sink and sauntered out of the kitchen.

After a pause, Alice looked at me pensively "Bella. Rosalie is right in a way. I know your date was bad last night but sometimes I feel like you're lonely"

"In other words…You need some tail." Added Rosalie.

"I'm not…lonely…and I don't need….tail…I'm just not into the dating thing right now" Awkward conversations like this make me really uncomfortable. Luckily Alice knows when to stop.

"Ok. Just let me know if there is anything I can do to help" she looked at the clock "Well, I told Jasper I would be there before noon so I better get going." She placed her dish in the sink and walked out of the kitchen.

That's when I realized the one thing that Alice had not learned about cooking: The cleanup. Pans, forks, bowls, measuring cups, and egg remnant were all over the place. While I cleaned up the culinary catastrophe, I found myself thinking about him again, and lost a miserable battle of trying to stop. There was no way to get his image out of my head. Even the sound of his voice, smooth and soft like cashmere, was engrained in my mind. Bizarre is not even the word for my thought process. Clearly, he hated me, and had no problem showing it. It was the WORST date I'd ever been on, maybe the worst date in the history of dating, but all I could do was think about him as I scrubbed the kitchen clean.

Edward

By the time I felt settled again, it was past 2:00 AM. I trudged out of the music room emotionally and physically drained. Luckily, Emmett and Jasper were already sleeping when I got home. Falling into bed, I was ready for a deep long sleep but for some reason, sleep did not come easy. I spent all night trying to sleep but I just couldn't get her out of my mind. It felt insane. Everything had gone wrong on the date, but something about her was just…right. I knew she would never speak to me again, and Jasper would raise hell about me offending Alice's friend, but I usually never cared about that before. This was different. Every thing I said to her played back in my mind and cut me like a knife. All of the rude things I said seared into me, and the look she gave me before she walked out sent a ripping pain through me over and over again.

At around 7:30 I gave up on the prospect of sleep and sat down on the couch to watch TV. Emmett was already up getting ready to go to the gym. I commended his devotion to working out, but I never understood why the devotion had to kick in at 7:30 in the morning; although Emmett's theory of hot woman is that the majority flocks to the gym early, which is all the motivation Emmett needs to wake up at the crack of dawn.

"Hey…did you JUST get in?" he asked "If so I guess I don't have to ask about the date last night. Dude, you are the MAN!" He walked over to give me a high five.

I pushed his hand away "No Emmett….I'm not. The date was actually an abomination. I just can't sleep….I think I had too much espresso at the restaurant."

"Oh…sorry" Emmett picked up his gym bag and walked to the door "I'll be back around 11:00." He was not one to sit and talk about feelings. Any sign of deep conversation or sentiment sent Emmett running.

"Bye" I called after him. Jasper woke up around 10:00 and made eggs and bacon. Finally he asked the question I was dreading.

"How was the date" he said.

"Um." I looked down at my plate "It wasn't….I mean it….well I might have…we just didn't really"

Jasper sighed "You sent her running, didn't you?"

"Well" I began, "It wasn't running per se….. it was more like an angry storm-out"

"Jesus Edward"

"I know…I'm sorry. I really am" _You have no idea how sorry I am_, I said to myself.

Jasper said "It's ok. I just wish you wouldn't chase them all away so fast. I mean you haven't had a real date in a while. Edward…. when is the last time you….um…well…you know."

"We're going to change the topic now." I said.

"Whatever man, I just think you need to get out there a little more"

Emmett walked in at that point and grabbed some food off of the counter. "What did you do, scare her away?"

"No" I replied

"Yes" Jasper retorted.

I shot him a glare, "No. It just….didn't go well. I don't really want to discuss it any further."

"Okay" Emmett said through a mouthful. He swallowed and continued "So you know that girl from the gym I told you about?"

"The one you always want to talk to but never do" I said. Emmett had been talking about this girl for months. He referred to her as a "Cardio goddess".

"Yea. I just can't understand why she doesn't come over and talk to me! Every other chick in that place does except for her!" He exclaimed.

"Did you ever consider the fact that she may not be into you?" Jasper offered.

"Dude…..….." Emmett gestured to his well toned body incredulous at Jaspers suggestion "Anyway, she totally stared at me the whole time I did bench press today"

I rolled my eyes "Emmett, she's either not into you, or she doesn't want to strike up the first conversation. I don't get what it is about this girl that makes you so weird"

"Me neither. But I think I'm going to talk to her soon. Let her know that the Big Man digs her and wants to show her a good time"

Charming. I'm sure that will woo her. Maybe it's better if you stick to admiring from a distance" I snickered.

After breakfast, Jasper ran around frantically cleaning before his girlfriend came over. Luckily, I was safe since Emmett left for work and Alice had no idea that I was actually the one that ruined her friend's night. When she got here, Jasper opened the door and kissed her immediately. I had to admit, I was slightly jealous. The last time I kissed someone like felt like a century ago.

"Hi Edward!" Alice chirped. She was a very pretty, petite little thing, but nothing compared to – I stopped myself before I even thought about it.

"Hey Alice. Are you here for more cooking lessons?"

"You know it! But before I do that, I need to have a little talk with your friend Emmett"

Jasper shot me a glare as my eyes widened. I quickly said "Um…Emmett went to the gym…but he um….he wanted me to tell you that…he's really sorry about the date last night – he has no idea what got into him, and he feels completely and utterly awful. Really I – erm… _Emmett _was torn up about it all night."

"Good" said Alice, "He was such a jerk. I'm shocked that he's had a girlfriend in the past. The way she talked about it, I'd be surprised if he ever found another legitimate girlfriend, I mean he really messed up. No offense to you guys, but Bel – I mean Rosalie has dated some jerks in the past and Emmett takes the cake"

My face burned with embarrassment, Jasper chuckled as he took Alice's hand "Come on. We're going to learn how to make soufflé today"

"Yay! See you later Edward!" I watched them saunter into the kitchen and share another kiss. Jealous and annoyed I stormed into my room. It seemed that the fatigue I lacked during the night was kicking in. I fell into bed and drifted into a deep, miserable sleep.

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**I know that I never update this, but better late than never. Reviews are always appreciated. ******


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